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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Trojan Condemn

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, charlottesville, condemn, white power

Construction workers are whooping it up with power tools in the other room, so today we'll concentrate on providing funny pictures and only a few words, what with THINKING BEING DIFFICULT OVER ALL THE NOISE.

We'll start by patting ourselves on the back for the title of today's cartoon, because what the media has been demanding from Trump really is a "Trojan Condemn" - they want him to make a statement of condemnation which implies or admits that he's previously been in league with moronic, racist hate-mongers who were not Democrats.

Frankly, Trump has said enough already - maybe too much. After all, it's not like the media is going to give him a fair shake no matter what he does...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, condemn, eclipse, PETA

By the way, as far as we know PETA hasn't said anything about pets and the eclipse, and we don't think there's any reason to worry because animals aren't dumb enough to stare at the sun.

People are dumb enough, though. Case in point...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, antifa, charlottesville, statue, vandalism, wizard of oz, tin woodsman

BONUS: REMODELING UPDATE

We just got back from Lowe's where we were picking out exterior doors, lock hardware, toilets (we're going with the one that promises it can flush a bucket of golf balls, just in case we overindulge in Titleists some drunken evening), appliances, mirrors, and range hoods. Pshew!

But earlier today, the bathroom cabinets got installed...


The area to the right is the "pony wall" which is, even as we speak, being tiled. It will provide the basic structure for our new shower stall, the door to which will open over by our master closet on the far right.

You can pretty much figure what's going on with the cabinetry; it's still waiting on the granite countertops, sinks, paint, and confederate flag decals.

You might well look at all of this and say "Wow, you're certainly making progress!" But remember, this is just the part of the house they're finishing first so we'll have a place to pee, poop, shower, and weep privately while the entire rest of the house is being turned inside out. So most of this adventure is still ahead of us. Most of the payments, too - but we're doing it for America!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Sorry, Virginia, There Is No Sanity Clause

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, Charlottesville, alt-right, Antifa, BLM, terror, car, media, race
Having a grating time - wish none of you were here.
If there was a Stupidity Olympics, it might well look like what the world saw in Charlottesville, Virginia this weekend. Idiots came from all over to participate in the Games, with oversight (and we use that word in every possible sense) and rules administered by as striking a bunch of ideological nitwits as you could ever hope to assemble in one place.

It isn't easy to comment on exactly what happened because the incendiary events became perfect fodder for alleged journalists (and politicians) to say whatever the hell they wanted to whether it was factual or not. Hurricanes only wish they had this kind of spin.

According to the mainstream media, Donald Trump's enthusiastic embrace of Nazis and the KKK inevitably manifested in a White Power hate rally. And when lovable Leftists peacefully protested, a number of them were deliberately mowed down by the speeding car of a White racist causing one death and many serious injuries. So horrific was the racist violence that a police helicopter fell out of the sky just from watching the carnage, causing the tragic deaths of two officers - but upping the tally to "3 killed in violent confrontations" in reports throughout the entirely delighted media.

 But that's not exactly what happened. Although truthfully, we don't know exactly what happened (how could we?) but do know a lot of things are being underreported and misreported.

• The "Unite the Right" rally was planned ahead of time in coordination with the ACLU, a proper permit was obtained, and no matter how odious the nincompoop group's views might be, they had a First Amendment right to assemble peacefully and speak.

• Officials of Charlottesville (along with Virginia governor and longtime Clinton hack, Terry McAuliffe) presciently "predicted" violence before the event, perhaps because they were welcoming the imbecilic armies of Antifa and BLM with open arms - after which they illegally (according to an actual judge) tried to move the event before revoking the permit entirely. Unsurprisingly, and perhaps intentionally, chaos ensued.

• Antifa and BLM came looking for violence, then caused it - throwing stones and water bottles, pepper spraying alt-right types, and occasionally just beating people bloody (although in fairness, some in the "Unite the Right" crowd clearly came to rumble, too). Seemingly, the police did little to stop this and might (we emphasize might) have been instructed to step back to allow some politically useful carnage to take place.

• A 20-year old loser who might (we emphasize might) be a Nazi-sympathizer drove his car into a crowd at high speed. If it was his intent to injure people, then he is a terrorist - no more, no less - and should suffer the appropriate consequences. 

In other words, every aspect of this clash of the dunderheads was a fustercluck of the highest magnitude. Hateful cretins of many races, creeds and colors came to clash - influenced far more by the media's rhetoric than anything ever said by Donald Trump, and certainly not endorsed by the President in any way.

A couple of important points: the imbeciles who really are neo-Nazis and White supremacists are despicable, but there aren't that many of them. Happily, inbreeding shortens their life spans.

Similarly, the blockheads of Antifa and BLM are probably lacking in real numbers, although their influence gets magnified by favorable press coverage and the seemingly endless depth of George Soros's pocketbook.

Unfortunately, with the intent of forcing Donald Trump out of the White House, the mainstream media continues to turn up the heat and create the illusion that the majority of Americans have pledged allegiance to one pinheaded side or the other. By doing so, they maneuver citizens (albeit hopeless ignoramuses) into gladiatorial combat, with actual bloodshed - no matter who caused it - seen as a victory.

And nothing that happened in Charlottesville is more sickening, or more frightening, than that.


BONUS: REPORT FROM THE FIELD

Reader JRMD posted this in the comments, but I want to be sure that everyone can read it. More insight and background here than I've seen anywhere else!


JRMD from Virginia said...
Stilt,
From the heavy heart of Central VA I can tell you why it happened.
The Charlottesville 'Clown' Council is 100% far left to the point they can't stand straight.
The black 'vice' mayor (Bellamy) came to C'ville as a teacher, member of the gov's. education board and a council electee. His baggage included uncovered racist tweets (especially against white women) and on-line posts. When these were brought to light he left his teaching position (rather than be fired) and resigned from the governor's edu. bd.
HOWEVER, since he was so pro black and anti white, the clown council and the idiots in C'ville not only left him on council but made him vice mayor.... paving the way for his future political aspirations. (Heaven help the fools!) (Over 80% of them voted for Hillary, so you know they have problems.)
C'ville formed a commission to study the Lee and Jackson statues after one of Bellamy's students said they scared her when she went through the parks. An obvious set-up to everyone but the C'ville croud.
The commission, after months of study and public meetings, advised the council to leave the statues in place and add plaques to explain that part of history.
The council rejected the commissions findings and voted to remove the statues.
Thus - the KKK and Alt Right rallies.
The KKK came, spoke briefly and left. They were attacked by anti-protesters. 28 of them were arrested for violence..... not 1 KKK member.
The lefties and the clown council supported the claim of police brutality because tear gas had to be used to quell the protesters attacks on the KKK AND the police. They objected to the arrests and said the police should have been more patient and that they antagonized the protesters by wearing their riot gear. Interestingly - NONE of the 28 have been to court to face their charges..?? Swept under the rug????
Kessler (Alt-Right Movement) applied for a permit to protest the statue removals. The application was for Lee Park at the base of the Lee statue. Certainly not off-limits as that was where most of the anti-statue rallies were held by the lefties.
The clown council sat on the permit until the last minute and approved it - if held in McIntire Park, on the outskirts of town.
Surprisingly the ACLU and Rutherford Institute jumped in to file a suit based on the violation of free speech.
A Federal Judge held a night hearing and blocked the order to relocate.
That had to P O the clown council.!!!!
As both rally participants and anti-rally protesters formed early Sat. AM, skirmishes broke out due to the protesters throwing frozen water bottles, soda cans filled with concrete, bottles of excrement, etc. at rally members in the park and attacking those trying to get to the park.
Hundreds of police and national guard stood by and did nothing to stop the abuse.
It quickly became obvious that they were not only remembering the flak the took for stopping the KKK rally violence but also had the intent, most likely directed by the clown council, to let it happen until it could be declared an 'unlawful gathering' and shut it down. So much for 'Serve and Protect'.
The rally was shut down shortly after after 11AM - an hour before it was scheduled to start. A couple protesters were arrested.
The Alt-Rt supporters left the park and the anti-rally protesters pranced around the 'once-upon-a-time' grand city of Charlottesville, VA proclaiming a victory.
The lack of quick and decisive action by the police to quell the violence perpetrated by the protesters was the cause of all the problems and will result in future problems as the 'white supremacist' groups have vowed to return - ready to take care of themselves.
Charlottesville's actions (and INActions) has stirred up a hornets nest.

This account is as factual as it can get. I watched it happen.

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Jarlsberg Diaries: Voices In My Head

The use of the name "Halburton" was coincidental, and does not imply Dick Cheney's endorsement.
Between home construction and threats of nuclear annihilation, I'm throwing another curveball your way today - although as always, I hope you'll find it a fun one!

As I've mentioned here in the past, for many years I was a radio writer and producer, and sporadic voiceover artist - always with an inclination toward comedy. I love the medium of sound, love old time radio, sound effects, theater of the mind, and all the rest. Frankly, it's a mystery that I'm not already doing some kind of podcast.

In any event, when I wasn't writing, reading, and recording funny commercials in the radio station's production room, I was doing my own nutty projects...a pattern which would pretty much define the rest of my working life, continuing right up through today.

With all of that being said, I present this 4 minute opus called "Mr. Halburton & Little Scotty: The Ventriloquist Act." Every voice you hear is mine. It's probably safe for work, albeit weird. And there's no real picture with this video: it's meant to be enjoyed as a "theater of the mind" piece.


I recorded that over 30 years ago when there was no such thing as digital audio. We used reel-to-reel tape machines (not even multi-track), and editing was done with grease pencils, razor blades, and sticky splicing tape. Sound effects were played "live" during the recording from turntables and cart machines (radio equipment that looked like old 8-track tapes and players for your car).

It was while working at this radio station that I met Richard Stone (who was doing the audio production when I signed on, and who taught me the craft). We became close lifetimes friends - and giggling idiots in the studio - until he passed away far, far too early. He eventually won multiple Emmys for composing wonderful music for television and film, and is best known for his "Carl Stalling" type musical creations which backed the beloved "Animaniacs" cartoon series (along with other projects from Warner Brothers). One of my fondest memories is of watching Rich direct the Warner Brothers Orchestra as they recorded his music.

The character of "Little Scotty" was actually born in a session in which I was just ad-libbing with Rich. I did a very sad (but painfully funny) monologue about him having something called "Blochner's Syndrome," a mysterious but incurable illness. Who knew that 30 years later I'd still be exploring the same vein of humor in "Johnny Optimism?"

Anyway, advertising and audio production took me to Dallas and eventually opened the door for something a little bigger...which then opened the door for something substantially bigger. But those are stories for another day.

For now, I still love creating audio and keep promising myself I'll get back to it. 

Maybe right after all the home renovations and, from the looks of things, a brief nuclear war.
   -Stilton